Farmaggedon And The Framing Of The Watermelon

The American government has found the most formidable enemy to the fabric of our American life.

Is it abortion? (A national malady that has snuffed the lives of over 50 million tiny unborns since Roe V. Wade)

No.

Is it American imperialism? (A type of hyper-nationalism that claims a military footprint in near every nation and drops drone bombs indiscriminately on innocent and foe alike)

No.

Is it national debt? (An enslavement of our children to the whims and fancies of China, unemployment, economic depression, and over taxation)

No.

The USDA has scoped out the enemy and it is a much more heinous subversive adversary than anyone ever imagined:

Organic Milk

Particularly, organic milk from small local family-owned farms.

It’s almost enough for Ron Paul to pop a Constitutional blood vessel in disgust. I’m not overtly political on this blog, but if even half of “Farmaggedon” is true then that is enough to fire Congress all over again and institute a prerequisite common sense test for all future elected members of government. Otherwise, we’ll continue to witness tragic and laughable scenes like this:

“Freeze! Get your hands in the air!”-USDA agent with glock drawn

“____”- Watermelon

“Your hands! Let me see them now!”-USDA agent

“____”-Watermelon

Big government Democrats give way to big government Republicans and the political cycle shifts every 4-8 years yet nothing substantial changes. If there is not a libertarian type movement among the populace then meaningless regulators and gargantuan bureaucracies will continue to terrorize such depraved and wicked practices as growing a garden and sharing your harvest.

Support your local farmer/farmer’s market. Your basic right of (healthy) food freedom may not exist much longer folks.

Bryan Daniels

Convince Me Who To Vote For (Florida Primary) In 3, 2, 1…GO!

Before you convince me who to vote for let me give some preliminary background info: I’ll be the first to tell you I’m disenchanted with politics in general. If debate fatigue is a transmittable disease then I’ve caught it, and I wish the only cure was more cowbell.

Though I wouldn’t say I’m a Republican fanboy I would say I am an overall conservative guy on most all social and financial issues. I know George W. was a big government politician whose policies aided in the economic downfall we’re all experiencing (Give him some props for beast moments like this though). I know a two-party system will have billionaires and lobbyists on both sides pushing special interests. That said, the Republican candidate has my general election vote tied down for this year at least unless some radical and tangible transformation happens right now in the heart of Obama over the infanticide of millions (60 million since 1973?) of babies in America.

The RNC could prop up a literal Mr. Potato Head for President and as long as he pledged with his cute little removable plastic mouth to protect the unborn my vote would be cast against Obama.

But this Tuesday the Republican primary in Florida is coming down the pike like a runaway Amtrak train upon us, and right now I’m as undecided as a woman buying lipstick. I’ve heard the debates. I’ve heard all the major talking points. The Washington outsider I first had a political interest in bowed out of the race pretty quickly as allegations of marital infidelity became insurmountable.

I’ve been contemplating doing the “Blackaby method” of major decision-making: Just wait until Tuesday and as I walk up to the election booth pray a quick prayer to see if I get a supernatural burning/vision for one of the names on the ballot. That way if my candidate loses I can blame it on God (I kid, I kid).

But seriously, if you would be kind enough to leave a comment, I would like to know my readers reasons for supporting a particular presidential candidate. Keep it pithy and respectful. Please do not spend time on the glaring faults of the other candidates in the field. I already know Newt Gingrich has had more wives than Solomon in his heyday, and RomneyCare wrote the blueprint for Obamacare. I also know Ron Paul used to play in horseshoe tournaments with Abraham Lincoln, and Rick Santorum just has that annoying look on his face a majority of the time (Does anyone else see it? Anyone?!)

Positive argumentation is what will persuade me. Really just the one main reason, at the honest gut level, as to why you are casting your vote for a particular candidate. Thanks.

I’m undecided. Convince me to make a decision.* Ready? Set, GO!

Bryan Daniels

*My vote CAN be bought with free donuts, coffee and/or books by Puritans.

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