Bad Lip Reading and Talking Animals…

A little bit of levity. Cause, doggone it, you deserve it.

My wife and I laughed pretty hard. If taken in small doses, there are some redeemable qualities about YouTube. If dubbed over football coaches and players don’t do it for you, maybe talking animals will:

If the animals don’t work then you seriously need a hug.

Immediately.

Walk up to the nearest random person in your purview and latch on. If things get weird tell them I sent you.

Peace and grace,

Bryan Daniels

Undeniable Evidence Of God from the Greatest Christian Apologist Ever

(Saw this shared on 22 words and had to reshare)

But seriously.  Miss me some Michael Scott. In my opinion, one of the most hilarious characters in modern television. He also has contributed the following thought-provoking philosophical/theological musings:

On Diversity:

Hi. I’m Michael Scott. I’m in charge of Dunder Mifflin Paper Products here in Scranton, Pennsylvania but I’m also the founder of Diversity Tomorrow, because today is almost over. Abraham Lincoln once said that, “If you’re a racist, I will attack you with the North.” And those are the principles that I carry with me in the workplace.

You may look around and see two groups here: white collar, blue collar. But I don’t see it that way, and you know why not? Because I am collar-blind.

On Communism:

If this were Russia, yeah sure, everyone would go to one Santa, and there would be a line around the block, and once you sat on her lap and she would ask you what you wanted and you would probably say freedom, at which point the KGB would arrest you and send you to Siberia. It’s a good thing Russia doesn’t exist anymore.

On Leadership:

Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

I’m friends with everybody in this office. We’re all best friends. I love everybody here. But sometimes your best friends start coming into work late and start having dentist appointments that aren’t dentist appointments, and that is when it’s nice to let them know that you could beat them up.

On Politics: 

I love babies. I think they are beautiful in all sorts of different ways. I try to pick up and hold a baby every day, if possible, because it nourishes me. It feeds my soul. Babies are drawn to me. And I think it’s because they see me as one of them. But … cooler and with my life put together a little bit more. If a baby were president, there would be no taxes. There would be no war. There would be no… government, and… things could get terrible. And actually probably it would be a better screenplay idea then a serious suggestion.

On Money:

Yes. Money has been a little bit tight lately, but at the end of my life, when I’m sitting on my yacht, am I gonna be thinking about how much money I have? No. I’m gonna be thinking about how many friends I have and my children and my comedy albums.

Misc:

Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject, so you know you are getting the best possible information.

I’m not superstitious…but I am a little stitious

Bryan Daniels

Cultural Contradictions: Thanksgiving Thursday, Black Friday

Be grateful for what you have this season…Psyche! Covet what thy neighbor has!

Seen this one floating arond the internetz the past couple days. Worth a re-share. Hope you have a holiday filled with family, fun, and chillaxation. And:

Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever! (Psalm 107:1)

Bryan Daniels

Thumbs Up Everybody for Rock and Roll Mondays

Just a little pick me up and supplement to the caffeine for your Monday morning blues (this vid has made the rounds). Whatever you’re struggling with this week: physical pain, nasty coworkers, financial woes, taking the training wheels off, family drama or just the humdrum routine of another work cycle. This charming little tyke is speaking into your life:

THUMBS UP EVERYBODY FOR ROCK AND ROLL!

You can get better, I know it!

Tony Robbins better watch his back, this kid has the motivational market on lock for the next 60 years if he so chooses to take it. I’m going to go ahead and pre-emptively nominate this young man for US president in 31 years.

The songify version is pretty cute too:

You’re Not Ready For The Zombie Apocalypse…But You Can Be…

We all have one within our circle of extended family and friends.

We’ll call him “Noah.” He is the modern day cowboy expecting and preparing for a worldwide end-times cataclysmic event of epic proportions. An event similar to what happened in the ancient “days of Noah.” Noah’s not scared though. He fully expects to escape the coming tribulation with pickled food, an embarrassment of generators, and thousands of rounds of military ammo.

He is a man of old school MacGyver-esque type sensibilities which include breeding goats, building raging fires, and blowing up stuff with homemade mortars.

I envy Noah a bit.

My very limited talents include teaching math, coaching football, and writing semi-intelligently about subjects I actually know very little about. But when the second Great Depression hits and people start eating each other again, screw all that: I want to be on Noah’s team.

Tangible survival skill will rule that day, not inane activities like introspection and art.

Noah has got a backup for everything. If his flashlight goes out he’s got a backup one in his back pocket. If the back pocket backup flashlight goes out, you don’t even want to know where he keeps the backup to the backup back pocket flashlight.

Noah is hardcore.

You better identify your respective Noah before it’s too late. Because in time, everyone will come to grips with that chilling realization that rushes over the body like a winter wave:

I’m not prepared for a zombie apocalypse

I mean I do have a months supply of freeze-dried astronaut food left over from a failed diet program. I also have a 12 gauge shotgun I haven’t shot since I was seventeen and a couple of sharpened shovels in my possession. But when it hits the fan, those limited resources are not going to keep the chaos in the streets from spilling into my house in less than two weeks.

But thank goodness for Noah.

He saw all of it coming eons ago.  And all of it will probably come together for you in one surreal watershed moment. As you huddle together in Noah’s tornado shelter gripping one of his M3’s in one hand and the hand of your night-gown clad great-aunt in the other, you’ll say:

Now I know why he needed all these unregistered machine guns that shell out 1200 rounds a minute.

Now I know why he needed nine deep freezers stockpiled with enough deer and goat meat to feed the Duggars for two whole days.

Now I know why he stopped investing in stocks and bonds and started stockpiling gold and guns.

No, we’re not ready for the zombie apocalypse right now…but we can be with Noah.

So reader, I implore you: Find your Noah. Before it’s too late. Before you find yourself in a stale security sweat box with a capacity of 12 yet holding 21 of your closest family, friends, neighbors and house pets. Out of nowhere a heart wrenching dilemma will present itself to you: You’re aunt is having feverish chills and developing a catatonic stare. And now you’re gonna have to figure out how to take care of that strange oozy bite on her upper thigh in the most bloodless, humane, fatal way possible.

What will you do?

What would Noah do?

Find your Noah.

Bryan Daniels