Undeniable Evidence Of God from the Greatest Christian Apologist Ever

(Saw this shared on 22 words and had to reshare)

But seriously.  Miss me some Michael Scott. In my opinion, one of the most hilarious characters in modern television. He also has contributed the following thought-provoking philosophical/theological musings:

On Diversity:

Hi. I’m Michael Scott. I’m in charge of Dunder Mifflin Paper Products here in Scranton, Pennsylvania but I’m also the founder of Diversity Tomorrow, because today is almost over. Abraham Lincoln once said that, “If you’re a racist, I will attack you with the North.” And those are the principles that I carry with me in the workplace.

You may look around and see two groups here: white collar, blue collar. But I don’t see it that way, and you know why not? Because I am collar-blind.

On Communism:

If this were Russia, yeah sure, everyone would go to one Santa, and there would be a line around the block, and once you sat on her lap and she would ask you what you wanted and you would probably say freedom, at which point the KGB would arrest you and send you to Siberia. It’s a good thing Russia doesn’t exist anymore.

On Leadership:

Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

I’m friends with everybody in this office. We’re all best friends. I love everybody here. But sometimes your best friends start coming into work late and start having dentist appointments that aren’t dentist appointments, and that is when it’s nice to let them know that you could beat them up.

On Politics: 

I love babies. I think they are beautiful in all sorts of different ways. I try to pick up and hold a baby every day, if possible, because it nourishes me. It feeds my soul. Babies are drawn to me. And I think it’s because they see me as one of them. But … cooler and with my life put together a little bit more. If a baby were president, there would be no taxes. There would be no war. There would be no… government, and… things could get terrible. And actually probably it would be a better screenplay idea then a serious suggestion.

On Money:

Yes. Money has been a little bit tight lately, but at the end of my life, when I’m sitting on my yacht, am I gonna be thinking about how much money I have? No. I’m gonna be thinking about how many friends I have and my children and my comedy albums.

Misc:

Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject, so you know you are getting the best possible information.

I’m not superstitious…but I am a little stitious

Bryan Daniels

Levity For The Weekend: Official Worship Signals

I’ve seen this snazzy little hilarious diagram floatin’ around the internetz this past week. For context: I grew up in a traditional Baptist church, currently attend a charismatic Methodist church body, and I follow the ministries of many Reformed Presbyterian guys. For reasons I may explain in another post, I loosely consider myself a “charismatic with a seat-belt.” I have seen, or can empathize with, all the “worship signals” in this model. I got a chuckle out of the Baptist warning at the bottom.

These signals are all courtesy of the brilliant comedic mind of Tim Hawkins. Here is my favorite skit of his. It’s a classic in my book:

Other body signals I have witnessed in my respective worship experiences: The Gaither family toe tap (has been known to cause turf toe in Southern Baptists). The reverse Running Man Pentecostal jig (has been known to be 2 Legit 2 Quit). The psych ward charismatic body rock (has been known to get you admitted to Shutter Island). One of my personal favorites is the massive youth conference Simon-Says-Standup game that happens after the first person leaves their seat during the beginning of a worship song.

Am I missing any pertinent motions you’d like to share?

I won’t be posting the next couple of days. With out-of-town friends visiting for the weekend, an all day away high school track meet Saturday, and Sunday worship and family time, I’ll see you peeps sometime next week!

God bless you and keep you til then…and don’t forget Sunday morning to:

Lift your hands in the sanctuary and praise the Lord. (Psalm 134:2)

Bryan Daniels

“Don’t Call Me Shirley” A Tribute to Leslie Neilsen

A national hero died November 28th. The indefatigable white-haired epitome of manhood, Leslie Neilsen, succumbed to pneumonia at the age of 84 in his Florida home. On a personal note, he’s probably my favorite Canadian actor of all time (I can’t think of any others off the top of my head).

Neilsen’s most notorious role was as the bumbling oblivious cop, Frank Drebin, in the Naked Gun film series. Naked Gun is the first film that made me laugh so hard I cried, and made my abs feel like I just got kicked in the gut by Jackie Chan.

Neilsen executed the deadpan delivery perfectly in his comedic roles. Here are just a few quotable gems from the Naked Gun series:

Frank Drebin: Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes.

Frank Drebin: Looks like the cows have come home to roost.

Frank Drebin: Oh, it’s all right. I’m sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults that we are. Isn’t that right, Mr. … Poopy Pants?

Frank Drebin: Jane, since I’ve met you, I’ve noticed things that I never knew were there before… birds singing, dew glistening on a newly formed leaf, stoplights.

And don’t forget Dr. Rumack in the cult spoof “Airplane”, the role that started it all for Neilsen.

Rumack: You’d better tell the captain we’ve got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine Dickinson: A hospital? What is it?
Rumack: It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now.

Rumack: Can you fly this plane, and land it?
Ted Striker: Surely you can’t be serious.
Rumack: I am serious … and don’t call me Shirley.

Who in Hollywood will pick up the mantle Neilsen left of the oblivious buffoon placed in incredulous circumstances? I don’t know. But thank you Leslie Neilsen for holding that mantle for a time.

A crying ab workout has never been so funny before or since.

Bryan Daniels

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