Cheesy Movies And Gospel Adornment (SHARK-O-SAURUS!)

I’m a sucker for the cheesiest movies.

The Attack of SHARK-O-SAURAS!!!

I mean, overtly cheesy movies. I gravitate to them like a moth to a flame. Pretentious acting mixed with terrible special effects hooks me every time. I was recently transfixed by “Legend” (1985), which features an elf played by a young unibrowed Tom Cruise. It’s also replete with Goblins and a pair of endangered unicorns.

Tom Cruise in Legend
The Unicorn and Unibrow unite.

My wife saw the melodramatic cheese and immediately said, “Don’t record it.”

“Seriously, don’t record it.”


I recorded it.

A goblin chopped one of the unicorns horns off and the magical world of fairies and gnomes turned into a deep winter Narnian nightmare. Epic stuff.

I’m also a sucker for some of those Syfy Channel made for TV movies. They usually feature an 80s child star and dazzling Atari level special effects. Typically, you can bet on a helicopter faceoff with gigantic mutant Gators or Sharks or Snakes or Spiders.

Syfy Shark classic

The Artist’s Gospel Dilemma

I’m not as smitten with cultural Christian cheese.

I don’t want to offend anyone blessed by the following, but I had to turn off the movies “FireProof” and “Facing The Giants” after a few minutes of viewing. I don’t have the stomach for that flavor of cheese.  If you really have something worthy to say, say it in the most powerful, meaningful, excellent way you can.

The gospel is the most spellbinding beautiful message in heaven and earth.

If we are going to “adorn” it with our art, I say make it the most spellbinding beautiful art the world has seen. Acting should be high quality and nuanced. A plot should have depth and grit. Production should be top of the line.

This goes for our endeavors in writing, music, finger painting, breakdancing, etc. CCM radio shouldn’t sound like an infinite loop of the same rehashed pop country songs. In some cases the contributions are literally rehashed pop country songs.

I’m not a model for this. But I’m trying to get better at my craft (if blogging could be called that).

Not Cool, Creative

I’m not saying we should be “cool” in the trite cultural sense of that weak word. Christ never set up a Kingdom of self-assured cool kids. “Cool” is a term beneath the gospel. But our message and our art should have a winsome way of attracting souls (or even repelling them in some cases). Don’t ever let someone walk away from your baby with a neutral shrug.

We have a God breathed word empowered to resonate with human nature and experience more than any other word in the world.

Be excellent with whatever skill He’s given you.

A God who is Creator has imaged children who are creative.

To be less than that is to be less than human.

What’s Your Favorite Cheesy Movie?

Bryan Daniels

Author: Bryan Daniels

I am a follower of Jesus, a husband to Jessica, and a father of three boys: Josiah, Gideon and Judah. I teach high school math as a job, read reformed theology as a hobby, and write this blog just for kicks. With the rest of my time I coach football and track.

11 thoughts on “Cheesy Movies And Gospel Adornment (SHARK-O-SAURUS!)”


    I saw that as a teenager and was completely taken with it. Also the Dark Crystal. That’s crazy-cheezzz, too.

    Today I googled Dorothy Sayers so I could link to an article about her in my blog and saw that she once said this:

    “The only Christian work is good work, well done.” Seems about like what you’re saying here.

  2. My wife and daughter have grown used to seeing me weep, watching anything from cheesy, or not so cheesy movies to insurance commercials. It’s terribly embarrassing, but my lot in life, so I accept it. One of my favorite cheesy movies, although it isn’t sentimental at all, is Ice Pirates. Have you seen it?

  3. Not a fan of cheesy movies, but I am a fan of God. I believe that what we do for God, be it art, music, worship, etc….should be of the very best that we can do. So I say a hearty….AMEN

  4. Maybe it’s the deep romantic in me but I like Ever After – a Cinderella type movie – which is somewhat odd because I am very much a realist, whether in art appreciation or aspects of life, and this is also so with my Christian living. I thrill to the REALITY of my walk with Christ.

  5. Wow. You tend to be a lot more “Standard Christian” than me when I read your blog so I’m pretty surprised you didn’t like “FireProof.” I loved that film. I EXPECTED I would hate it but I really enjoyed it after my wife forced me to watch it with her.
    As for Legend, I have it on VHS. @Joel, don’t feel bad. I cried at a Spiderman comic once. And you are right, I have Ice Pirates on DVD for a reason.

    But Chief, for all time HIGH cheese factor, my favorite DVD is Ringo Star in “Cave Man.” YOU HAVE GOT TO SEE IT!

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