Real Marriage And Fairy Tales

My wife and I are reading “Real Marriage” by Mark and Grace Driscoll. We are only through the first two chapters and it has been a delightful experience thus far. I know there are many negative opinions and reviews regarding the work (I’ve read a few myself), but I have decided to reserve mine until I have read the book in full.

Also, I’d like to share a vid by Jefferson Bethke, the viral spoken word rock star who started an e-fire with “Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus.” He actually has stated publicly that he wishes he would have tightened his language and theology down before airing that vid. As has been pointed out, Jesus didn’t hate all forms of “religion” and actually partook in “religious” acts while living on earth (going to the temple, enjoying the feasts, instituting the Lord’s Supper).  Bethke seems like a genuinely humble, God-loving bloke.

This vid on relationships and sex is stellar, and touches on what much of the “Real Marriage” book is about (Bethke goes to Driscoll’s church, Mars Hill):

If you’re married I hope you make Ephesians 5:25-32 the heart’s cry of your marriage. If you’re single don’t go chasing a Hagar in haste, God’s got every provision under control. And just maybe, you should read this: “Why You Should (Maybe) Stay Single.”

Bryan Daniels

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Author: Bryan Daniels

I am a follower of Jesus, a husband to Jessica, and a father of three boys: Josiah, Gideon and Judah. I teach high school math as a job, read reformed theology as a hobby, and write this blog just for kicks. With the rest of my time I coach football and track.

28 thoughts on “Real Marriage And Fairy Tales”

  1. I don’t even recall how I came across your blog..but every post is ALWAYS word for me..awesome..you don’t even know..
    The Spoken word is so true..we’re deceived by what we see and what we’re led to believe everyday forgetting Jesus should be at the forefront of everything..
    JHEEEEZE! Bryan! Really?! 😛

    1. Thanks for the oaj! I thank God he knows how to package the word through the Holy Spirit just for you! That is my main objective for blogging, that God would use it to bless someone in someway. God bless you and thank you for the reblog!

  2. I’ve read a few criticisms on obscure blogs but all of my friends are LOVING this book, single and married alike. It’s in my cue and I’m really excited to read it. What has stuck out to you about the book so far and made it one you might recommend w all the other books out there in the same category?

  3. To be honest, I never heard of this book before. We are always careful about resources like that, but we also like to come to our own conclusions – give people a chance 😉

    As long as we keep in mind that people are not perfect (and we should point out mistakes, yes, but also be forgiving) but Jesus is, and to:

    Prove all things; hold fast that which is good. (1 Thess 5:21)

    we are okay.

    May the LORD bless you, your marriage, and your family!

    PS: Thanks, for the “likes” 😉 Sure appreciate it!

  4. I like your post Chief! The video is cool too, but it is hard to take marriage advice from someone who has never been married. Marriage is vastly different from other relationships. You have to experience it to really know what it feels like.

    Thanks for sharing. God bless you.

  5. I have read Chapters 1-5 and chapter 10. I understand what people are saying about some of the things he goes into. I also am not a fan of how he claims so much divine communication and inspiration. I will not discount it, but sometimes wonder why others don’t hear as much as him. I won’t get into all of that, but I will say that he does a phenomenal job of showing married persons how they can put the gospel of Jesus Christ as first place in all parts of their marriage.

    I applaud Driscoll for not boring his readers to tears. I also pray blessing on him and Mrs. Driscoll for laying their personal stories out there for the whole world in order that Christ might be glorified through their struggles.

    REAL MARRIAGE has thus far been a REAL blessing, pun intended.

    Love ya man. Can’t wait to see how God uses the biblical truth Driscoll presents in this book in you and Jessica’s marriage.

    Once again, miss you and we need to make some hang out time.

  6. My son is becoming more interested in spiritual things after several years of withdrawing from the Lord. He saw the two videos and sent them to me wondering what I thought about them. Well…no one is perfect, but I was very impressed with how the Lord is using this young man. And the videos really touched my son’s heart, so I am thankful for that. And I will check out the book. Thanks yet again!

    1. Praise God! God can use anything, I know He has used Driscoll’s preaching ministry to draw many young adults back to Christ, and I am sure He can use Bethke’s spoken word ministry in the same way….

  7. I’m impressed that you are approaching the book with caution and taking time to decide how you feel about it. I recently tuned into Praise 106.5 and caught a very interesting program on marriage by Dr. Keller and his wife: http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/focus-on-the-family/listen/gods-blueprint-for-a-healthy-marriage-part-1-259138.html
    I liked their attitude a lot–that the purpose of marriage is not to improve your financial or social status, but that you are especially chosen to help your mate find the path that will lead him to the life God meant him/her to have.
    Now that’s a higher purpose! I liked that idea, because we all know if there is no growth in a marriage, the relationship dies.

    Thanks for the blog, and for visiting mine!

    1. The only point I would like to make is that the Bedroom in the sanctity of Marriage is a private matter between the Husband and Wife. I have heard rumors of Driscoll talking about anal sex which is sodomy, and saying that it is ok within the walls of Marriage? And referring to his Wife? This makes me suspect of his interpretation of scripture, and frankly makes me not only want to not buy the book, but protest it! If he has not written about that, then I will reserve opinion on it. If what I have mentioned earlier if not in the book, I apologize. God Bless!

  8. The only thing I would say in addition to this post is that Ephesians 5:25-32 is incomplete. It starts @ Ephesians 5:22 and ends at Ephesians 5:33, lest the biblical command for the wife to submit to her husband as unto the Lord be disregarded. It’s a two way street and just as Jesus was a paradox in that He was a man, but His spirit was God (thus 100% of each) so is marriage a paradox of that magnitude. The man and woman are to be 100% submissive to God and ALSO 100% devoted to each other: that being the wife submissive to the husband and the husband displaying love and respect for his wife. In the American moral apocolypse we live in, “submission” has become a swear word of sorts to the “empowered woman”. We’ve adopted a Greek mindset and thrown out the hard priciples of our Hebrew roots. This mentality of 100% submission is perfect because it was written in the Word and when Christian women stop playing “America” and actually apply the concepts of the Word, they will be a lot more careful about the man they choose to submit to! But there is a lot of responsibility on the man’s part to submit to God and live a holy life. Nobody is off the hook and nobody’s responsibility is the “easier” one. But if you walk in a biblical marriage, it will be worth far more than the work put into it.

    1. You’re right Wingman! I was actually just typing that through memory and forgot where the “marriage” verses began and ended! Should have double checked it instead of relying on my forgetful mind…

  9. I like the 2nd video. One of the commenters said he would not be able to accept advice from someone who is not married. I think people believe that only experience brings wisdom which is not always true. If that were the case then the state of marriages (even 2nd marriages which has a higher rate of failure) would not be in such a dire state. If anyone has ever had to counsel a married couple, then one would understand that experience is the least of the problems.

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