“Rastafarian Polygamous Women”, and “How Painful Is The Rapture?”

There are some mild surprises associated with maintaining your own blog.

On my WordPress blog stat page it shows how some people find my site (not all). When a person finds my site by typing key words in to a major search engine that information is provided to me. I have seen some interesting search items the past few months. Many have absolutely nothing to do with the article I wrote. Some are amusing, and I wish I could know the story behind those.

Here are three of the more funny/absurd/outrageous search items according to my faltering memory:

“Rastafarian Polygamous Women”

I wrote an article (my very first blog article!) on the Christian rapcore band P.O.D. (Payable On Death). It is titled “A Debt to P.O.D.” In it I happen to state that some of the band’s style and sound seem to be influenced by the “Rastafarian” movement. That is the only time I have ever mentioned anything “Rastafarian” on my blog.

A few weeks after that article I wrote an article on the TLC show “Sister Wives,” that was a biblical critique on their Mormon Polygamous lifestyle. That article titled, “Sister Wives: Neither Nice Nor Biblical” is worth taking a look at if you want to see me get tangled up with an Internet Mormon apologist in the comments section.

I guess the mighty web crawlers paired “Rastafarian” in one article with “Polygamous” in the other, and some dreaded up Jamaican stoner who just converted to Mormonism happened to find my site as a result.

“How Painful Is The Rapture?”

This dude left behind a snazzy suit, perfectly good cup of joe, and an....inhaler?!

This person, presumably a Christian planning on eventually getting “caught up”, found my site right after the Harold Camping countdown craze. Instead of wanting to know how biblical the doctrine of the Rapture was, he/she wanted to know if the Rapture was going to throw his/her back out on the wild ride up.

Well, if the Rapture is anything like that Slingshot ride that used to be out at PC beach I share their concerns. That junk hurt my head.

Instead of a clear answer on the matter, the web gods referred them to my article that provided a brief rapture survival guide for the UNbeliever. They still got some sound advice out of that post, and maybe a chuckle or two if they had a sense of humor.

“Elephant Porn”

This is one of the most recurring search items in my stats. Unlike the others, it is neither funny or mildly amusing, but simply sad and disgusting. If a person does not believe in the depravity, and I mean TOTAL depravity, of mankind I present to you exhibit A.

The article they are referred to is this one: “Porn: The Vile Invisible Elephant In The Church.”

My prayer is that the pervert(s) searching for such an atrocity may actually read the article and have some semblance of conviction or repentance produced in them by the grace of God. Porn is indeed a filthy animal we must not neglect to call out and be honest about within the church. Men, wives and families are dying a slow spiritual death because we are content with keeping this sin a dirty little secret.

So, sometimes perusing my top searches can be an eye-opening heart-piercing experience. From levity to depravity, maintaining a website brings to light both.

My fellow bloggers, any “top searches” to your site you would like to share?

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Author: Bryan Daniels

I am a follower of Jesus, a husband to Jessica, and a father of three boys: Josiah, Gideon and Judah. I teach high school math as a job, read reformed theology as a hobby, and write this blog just for kicks. With the rest of my time I coach football and track.

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