The Daniels Family: Awkward Family Photo Christmas Edition

A Snowman infatuation never looked so awkward

Perfecting the perfect awkward family Christmas photo is harder than it looks. (in the spirit of the hilarious website “Awkward Family Photos”)

This is mainly because of the difficulty of finding a satisfactorily atrocious Christmas sweater during Christmastime.

I traversed two JC Penney’s, two Goodwill’s, Kohl’s, Sears and a Humane Society Thrift Shop for the holiday fashion faux pas.  None of them were quite offensive enough for what I had in mind. At the end of the night, I finally struck gold at a Big KMart. It may be a Christmas conspiracy of sorts, but I had an extremely hard time finding any Christmas sweaters for men at any of the stores (much less cheesy ones). Women have an embarrassment of riches to choose from regarding their Christmas attire, but men have a woefully limited selection of holiday ugliness in most stores. This was the case with KMart too. After finding exactly nothing in the menswear section, a certain blue sweater-vest with ice skating snowmen, cotton/snow balls, and sparkly sequins caught my eye… the women’s section.

That’s right, in our Christmas cards I’m wearing a sweater-vest for women…from K Mart. It had a return receipt stapled to it and it was marked down half off. You know what they say: One woman’s trash is another man’s Christmas sweater.

Jessie is wearing a bit of a gem herself in the card. Instead of going on another sweater hunt for my wife, I decided to call my very own connoisseur of Christmas cheese: my mom. She was up for the challenge and her closet bore considerable fruit for our cause. After laying out a lineup of awesomely bad Christmas attire for me one caught my eye right when I walked in the door. It was another snowman sweater, but this beauty was made up of super glued doily’s on a black sweatshirt. When we threw that bad boy over one of mom’s festive jumpers, well, you see the glorious end result.

Josiah is probably the least cheesy victim of the three. In order to maintain a continuous snowman theme we put him in a snowman sweatshirt he had from the previous year. We also slicked his hair down like Opie, and for those of you given to detail you should also notice he’s wearing sandals with socks.

In the main photo (above) I’m doing what I like to call the classic “Burt Reynolds” pose; you know the one where the leading family man’s body language seems to be saying about the rest of his family, “Yeah, that’s the fruit of my loins right there.”

Jessica thought a garbage bin should be the backdrop for the other pictures. We chose this solely for the amusing thought that when people view the card for the first time they might say out loud, “Is that a dumpster behind them?”

Christmas never smelled so good

Also, we included a quick Spanish Christmas message (“Feliz Navidad!”) for our text. Why? Not because Jessica is one-fourth Mexican I assure you. But simply to add to the confusion and incoherence of the card at hand. The more ridiculously uncomfortable the whole card viewing experience the more entertained we are as a family.

In conclusion, the Daniels family offers a very Merry and awkward Christmas to you. But seriously, don’t take yourselves too seriously this Christmas. God gave us laughter as a gift, let’s unwrap it with a joyful passion this season.

Bryan Daniels


Author: Bryan Daniels

I am a follower of Jesus, a husband to Jessica, and a father of three boys: Josiah, Gideon and Judah. I teach high school math as a job, read reformed theology as a hobby, and write this blog just for kicks. With the rest of my time I coach football and track.

31 thoughts on “The Daniels Family: Awkward Family Photo Christmas Edition”

  1. I absolutely love your pictures, but the blog is priceless. Wish I had thought of something like that. I didn’t even get a chance to do Christmas photos this year.
    God bless you, Jessica, Josiah and Gideon (can’t wait to see pictures of him when he arrives). Merry Christmas!

  2. Hi Bryan, thank you so much for reading my blog, you really have a beautiful family from what I saw in the photo, love your cardigan, do you wear it to football games?
    I live in South Africa and our version of gridiron is called rugby, I follow that sport and boxing, dig the Pac Man. Have a blessed day and hope to hear more from you in the future.

      1. So so funny. I love that you wore it though. And I loved that you called yourself out of it. It is actually an adorable picture. Way to take one for the Christmas spirit team. 😉

  3. You just made my Christmas. In April. I think the Bert Reynolds pose is my personal favorite part of this masterpiece of a description. You guys are hilarious!! Thank you.

      1. I can see it all now — by Christmas 2020, it has escalated to a point where Mom and Dad are sporting full blown adult sized reindeer costumes while Cosby sweater-adorned boys are riding said reindeers, all bearing the slightly plastic, gleefully manic expressions found only on boxes of Parker Brothers family games, circa 1985. Yeah — it’s probably best not to follow that particular rabbit hole, but it could be fun! :o)

  4. I hate to say but I like the sweater that you are wearing. It looks bad with that shirt but a nice button up white shirt and tie would look nice (darker blue sweater too). I think it would be better on a woman but that is because I am not used to mean wearing holiday attire except for a tie, of course. Men, in our society, are expected to wear more conservative attire. The sweater that she has on is terrible though. You found a good one for her.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s